First of all: Bulletin! He bought me the necklace! I even gave him a hug!
On another note: I have read entire novels because I enjoyed the story line and wanted to follow it to the end but feeling slightly annoyed because the entire book was , “and then I. . .” “He turned toward me. . .”
That is first person and I am not comfortable with it. I have heard that it is de rigeuer in Young Adult writing which I don’t very often read. I have had reviews where the person said they liked the story and the characters but had a little trouble reading third person.
I write third person. That is why the dialogue is in quotation marks or, if it is internal, italics. Someone said I write third person omniscient which isn’t very popular right now. I don’t get that. As near as I can tell, 99% of what I read is third person, but maybe that is just me. I admit I read lots of oldies. Further, I classify it as third person omniscient, universal. I even know what God is thinking. (See the Blizzard in Sacred Sin) God said it was spot on, thanked me and bought three copies for Himself. (See what I did there?)
I had another fair review where the person was kind of invested in the story but said the POV often changed in the middle of the paragraph and she found that distracting. . Like this?
When I change I change fast. The moon drags the whatever-it-is up from the earth and it goes through me with crazy wriggling impatience . . . I’m twisted, torn, churned, throttled—then rushed through a blind chicane into ludicrous power . . . A heel settles. A last canine hurries through. A shoulder blade pops. The woman is a werewolf.
That one jumped out even at me. That is not my work. I won’t attribute it because I do not want to awaken the grammar nazis. And if the writer is searching for plagiarism, he/she can easily see that is not why the paragraph is included here. It is an illustration of POV shift within a paragraph. And the author found it necessary for some reason to insert a bit of the much maligned third person.
The previously mentioned reviewer said that it sometimes seemed as if the narrator was telling the story. That is precisely why I sit at this keyboard — to tell a story. All the little kiddie books, and I have read a passel of them, start out with something like, “It is spring. . .” or “Once upon a time. . .”
And I have diagrammed my share of sentences and then some because I loved it and I do it mentally even to this day for certain situations. I think most writers under a certain age have no idea what diagramming a sentence is. The word parse is tossed about a bit, but I am usually a little vague on the context.
Oh, wait up. I have been writing my blog in first person all along, eh? Well, I guess that just makes me even more of an outspoken, self-appointed expert.
PHOTO ATTRIBUTION( for Me, me, me): thewritersadvice.com