Maybe you already know this about me, but I find it very difficult to be happy for someone who got what they wanted when I deem them unworthy. This does not even have to be that they got something I wanted. It may be true that it is something that I deem myself more worthy of, but that is not a part of the equation. I get lots of good stuff, some I deserve and some I do not deserve, so it balances in my mind, at least. But when I feel a person is unworthy of something they were awarded or otherwise received, I feel that the committee awarding it must have made a mistake. I must consider my judgement skills to be of a very high order. This from a person who prefaces just about every sentence with, “I am not one to cast judgement. . .” Yeah, we all know the next word is usually “but. . .”
Well, at least I have a wide variety of rationalizations , or, what some may callreasons, at my immediate disposal. Like I’m not on that list this week cuz I didn’t do the promoting I should have, when I myself freely admit I reserve a certain amount of effort just so I don’t have to say, “Damn. I gave it everything I could and I still failed.”
So sad to never know what I might have accomplished had I been brave enough to go all out–for anything–ever.
Photo source: cover illustration from Watty Piper’s “The Little Engine That Could”